Narcissistic Parents

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What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance as well as an intense preoccupation with themselves.

Children of Narcissists:

Generally, Narcissistic Parents are possessively close to their children when they are small  because their children are a source of self-esteem.  When their children grow to become more independent, the narcissistic parent may feel envious of the child.

While there are many ways in which a narcissistic parent abuses  his or her child, there are times that a narcissistic parent is kind. This makes the abuse harder to handle for children of Narcissistic Parents – the child knows that the underlying tension means that one wrong move means that things will go wrong and the narcissistic parent may fly into a  rage.

Children of narcissistic parents often feel they must adhere to the agenda of the the parent for their lives to be stable. Asserting their feelings, their rights, or their thoughts can lead to much bigger problems.  This causes the children to learn that their feelings are invalid, unimportant, and inconsequential. They will  often stifle all feelings to keep the peace in the house.

Types of Narcissistic Parents

1) Engulfing Parents: are Narcissistic Parents who see no boundaries between themselves and their children. Children are seen as extension of the parent – not as another person. For babies and toddlers, this is okay – small children don’t often see themselves as separate from their parents anyway.  This type of narcissistic parent will ignore all boundaries as a child ages. .

2) Ignoring Parents: are narcissistic parents who don’t actually care much about their children. Unlike engulfing parents, an ignoring parent sees the boundary between themselves and their child, and has little  interest in their child.

Sibling Dynamics In Narcissistic Parent Households:

If there are several children in a narcissistic household, the dynamic may be one of the Golden Child versus the Scapegoat, which can cause major friction and jealousy between the children.

The Golden Child, seen as an extension of the narcissistic parent, can do no wrong, and even the most minor of achievements are cause for celebration, admiration, and rewards.

The Scapegoat Child is to blame for all of the family woes. While the Golden Child can do no wrong, the Scapegoat Child can do no right. All achievements are dismissed.

Traits of Narcissistic Parents:

While these traits may not match all Narcissistic Parents, what follows are some common traits of Narcissistic Parents:

1) A Narcissistic Parent has difficulty understanding the emotions of empathy and how to create meaningful connections. As the personal needs of Narcissistic Parents dominate, these parents have little room for the needs of anyone else.

2) A Narcissistic Parent owns the successes of his or her children. In a Narcissistic Parents mind, he or she has been sacrificing everything for his or her child – the child must retaliate by performing at or above expectations. These childhood achievements are then owned by the Narcissistic Parent as their own.

3) Narcissistic Parents must be in control. No matter what. A Narcissistic Parent controls his or her children by dictating how these children should feel, should act, and the decisions to be made. This can lead to adult children of Narcissistic Parents being unsure of what they, themselves, like and want out of life. These Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents never learn to be autonomous and make his or her own decisions.

4) Narcissistic Parents emotionally blackmail their children. A Narcissistic Parent often is indulgent, kind, and sweet if a child is behaving in the way their Narcissistic Parent wants. However, the moment a child is disobedient, a Narcissistic Parent becomes enraged and cruel. This show of “I love you, go away,” creates insecurity and dependency among children of Narcissistic Parents.

How Do Narcissistic Parents Control Their Children?

There are a few ways that a Narcissistic Parent controls his or her young children. These control mechanisms include:

1) Codependent Control: “I need you. I can’t live without you.” This prevents children of Narcissistic Parents from having any autonomy, from living their own lives.

2) Guilt-Driven Control: “I’ve given my life for you. I’ve sacrificed it all.” This method of control creates a feeling of obligation in children; that they “owe” their Narcissistic Parents and must behave in a certain way to make their parents happy.

3) Love Withdrawal Control: “You’re worthy of my love ONLY BECAUSE you behave the way I expect you to.” So long as their children are behaving properly, a Narcissistic Parent will be loving. That love disappears the moment a child doesn’t meet expectations.

4) Goal-Oriented Control: “We have to work together to achieve a goal.” These goals are generally the goals, dreams, and fantasies of a Narcissistic Parent. A Narcissistic Parent often  lives vicariously through his or her children.

5) Explicit Control: “Obey me or I’ll punish you.” Children of Narcissistic Parents must do as they’re told or risk shame, guilt, anger, or even physical abuse.

6) Emotional Incest Control: “You’re my one true love, The One, the most important person to me.” An opposite-sex parent makes his or her child fulfill the unmet needs of the Narcissistic Parent.

How Do Narcissistic Parents Abuse Their Children?

Narcissistic Parents have many subtle – and some not-so-subtle- ways in which they abuse their children. These types of abuse include the following:

• Compulsively lying to children
• Ignores and/or overwhelms the children
• Neglects needs of the child
• Makes child feel as though he/she does not matter
• Puts parental needs far above those of the children
• Mold children to an “ideal” image
• Promotes and fosters a dependent relationship between parent and child
• Distorts the concept of “love”
• Manipulation for pleasure
• Says one thing one day, something else the next
• Untrustworthy
• Uses the child’s vulnerabilities to exploit the child
• Subtly and not-subtly insults children
• Ignores personal boundaries
• Treats others as objects, not people
• Makes child feel as though he or she is insane

Here are some guidelines for recovery for Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents:

• Begin working through the grieving process – allow yourself to grieve the parent you never had.
• Acknowledge that you’ve never learned how to properly deal with feelings, and begin to start working through these feelings.
• Work toward loving that little child inside you in the ways your Narcissistic Parent never did.
• Stop hoping that your Narcissistic Parent will change.
• Remind yourself every day that you need to take care of yourself – those needs for self-care are incredibly important.
• Remember – you matter too.
• You do not need to harm yourself or hate yourself. You’re a great person, worthy of love and devotion.

Stop being afraid of your Narcissistic Parent – you are an adult, you survived , and             you need to reclaim your life as your own. Start by erasing that fear.

• Get rid of that feeling of not fitting in or belonging. It was put there by your Narcissistic Parent and it’s got to go.
• Find and connect with other Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents.
• Find a therapist who specializes in treating Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents.
• Remember you  are in charge of your own life.
• You are more than worthy. No matter what your Narcissistic Parent told you,
• You do not need to feel guilty if you decide not to stay in touch with your Narcissistic Parent – it may be for your own good.
• Remember that your needs are important. Don’t be afraid to make them known and ask for what you need.

Do I Stay In Contact With My Narcissistic Parent?

As an Adult Child of a Narcissistic Parent, you have two options:

1) Total Estrangement – no contact, nothing, with your Narcissistic Parent.

2) Measured Contact – contact, but limited interaction with Narcissistic Parent.

If you choose to keep measured contact with your Narcissistic Parent, be  sure to follow some strict, clear guidelines with your parent.   Growing up with a narcissistic parent is difficult but remember as an adult you can choose whether or not to have them in your life.

What To Expect at Your First Therapy Session

 

 

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So you’ve decided to take the step of going to see a therapist.  That’s wonderful and good that you’re taking care of your mental health.   Whatever your reason for seeking help, you will feel  more at ease and get better results if you know what to expect.

In your first session, the therapist will ask  questions about you and your life. This information helps her make an initial assessment of your situation. Questions  might include the following:

Why you sought therapy.  The therapist has to understand your surface problem(s) before she can get to the deeper issues.

Your personal history and current situation. She  will ask you a series of questions about your life.   She’ll  also ask about your family history and current family situation.

Your current symptoms. Other than knowing the reason you sought therapy, the therapist will attempt to find out if you’re suffering from other symptoms of your problem. For example,  are you having difficulties at work.

She will ask these questions to get to know you and understand your situation so you and she  can come up with the best plan for your treatment.

Remember therapy is a team effort and you should take an  an active part in the session or you won’t find the counseling experience valuable. Here are some things you can do to make your first session  successful.

Be open.  It’s important to answer questions  openly and honestly.

Ask questions. The more you understand the counseling experience or how counseling works, the more comfortable you’ll be.  Feel free to ask questions about the therapy process, and ask the therapist to repeat anything you don’t understand.

Be open and honest about your feelings.  Many thoughts will be going through your head during the session. Listen to your own reactions and feelings, and share them with the therapist.

Remember  therapy is not a quick fix for your problem, rather it is a process and it will take time to resolve your problems.  The most important part of the process is feeling comfortable with your therapist and feeling that she is truly trying to help you.

Online Therapy

 

 

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In addition to seeing clients in my office, I also offer online video therapy through a secure HIPAA compliant video platform. When I think about why clients choose online therapy, the first answer that comes to my mind is about convenience: the comfort of being in your own office or home, no travel necessary, the time saved, and the time of sessions is usually more flexible.  I admit I was skeptical about doing online therapy but when I decided to begin offering it in my practice and I read about it, I realized that it is something I wanted to do in addition to seeing clients in a traditional office setting.  I have been providing online video therapy for awhile now and I think it’s a great addition to traditional in office therapy, in the future I hope to  only offer online therapy.

When I’ve asked clients how they feel about seeing me via video rather than in an office, they’ve stated that they feel comfortable working this way and it’s more convenient for them since they do not have to go to an office.  During a snow storm I was able to see 7 clients online, I would not have been able to do this in an office because it would have been very difficult for me or my clients to get to the office.

Another reason some people chose online therapy is that it gives an added layer of confidentiality.  With online therapy, no one else has to know that you’re going to therapy unless you chose to tell them.  I don’t feel as comfortable doing telephone therapy as I prefer to see my clients when we’re speaking however telephone counseling is also an option if video is not available.  I  do not offer texting therapy.

Some clients would not benefit from online therapy and do need to be seen in an office.  Clients who are actively psychotic would not be good candidates for online therapy.  Also clients who have recent suicidal attempts would benefit from  in office therapy until they are more stable.

I have found the outcomes for my clients to be just as good whether I see them online or in my office and I’m so glad I’m able to  offer online therapy.

To Be a Black Woman with Anxiety

 

 

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Anxiety is one of the most common reasons for women to seek therapy.  For Black women, anxiety is  often more chronic and the symptoms more intense than white women.

To understand anxiety and Black women,  you need to understand how Black women are viewed.    There are three basic images which we see of Black women, the Strong Black Woman, the Angry Black Woman, and the Overly Sexual Black woman.. These images affect how other people see Black women and how we see ourselves. They also play a role in the development of anxiety.

Strong Black Women -There are some  positive aspects about being a Strong Black Woman, but there are  also many negatives.   A Strong Black Woman  will keep going even when she knows she should stop, this places her mental and physical health at risk.

An Angry Black Woman  is perceived as a woman who is always ready to  “cuss” you out. I have found that many women who are perceived this way are actually very anxious.  The anger is often an outward expression of their discomfort with the negativity associated with anxiety.

The Overly Sexual Black Woman  used to be referred to as a Jezebel, which comes from the Biblical Queen who  was said to have turned her husband against God.  Since slavery, Black women have been sexualized in derogatory ways  Today  this is often seen  in rap and hip-hop videos.

Social Anxiety 

In workplaces, college and professional  settings around the country, Black women often find themselves to be  the only one.   In these situations, we  have  often been taught that we have to be twice as good, that we are representing the race and that we are being watched more closely than our white counterparts.  These beliefs along with the Strong Black Woman image often increases the risk for social anxiety.

PTSD

The rate of sexual assault among Black women is  reported to be 3.5 times higher than that of any other group in this country. Black women are also less likely to report their assault. Many never share with anyone what has happened to them. The trauma  will remain untreated and the symptoms  will worsen.

Racism is another   form of trauma that  affects Black women.  Trauma in the form of racism can be directly or indirectly experienced. Driving while Black, shopping while Black, and racial micoraggressions are direct examples of racial trauma.  Indirect examples are videos of unarmed Black women and men being killed.

Thankfully, the stigma associated with seeking help for anxiety  and other mental health issues is disappearing.  Remember that with the help of a good therapist you can reclaim your life from anxiety.  I was able to reclaim my life and so can you.

 

Beginning Therapy

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It’s not too difficult to  find a therapist but it can be difficult to know if you’ve found one who is right for you.  The first step is often going on the internet and looking at Psychology Today, Therapy for Black Girls or other therapist directories.  After you find a therapist it’s important to see if they are the right fit for you.  Here are some questions to ask yourself  to see if you’ve found the right therapist for yourself.

1. What does it feel like for you to sit with the therapist? Do you feel safe and comfortable?  Is the person down-to-earth and easy to relate to or does he or she feel cold and emotionally removed?  Is the therapist arrogant?   If a therapist  doesn’t feel like a good fit for you, that’s okay; there’s absolutely no contract or rule requiring you to continue working with any therapist. However,  If you find yourself reacting negatively to every therapist you see, then the issue could be yours and may warrant your sticking it out with a therapist in an effort to work through your fears  of beginning therapy.

2. What’s the therapist’s general philosophy and approach to helping? Does your therapist  approach people in a compassionate and optimistic way? Does he or she believe humans are born loving and lovable?

3. Can the therapist clearly define how he or she can help you to solve whatever issue or concern has brought you to therapy?  A therapist should be able to  explain how they can help and  be able  to give you a basic “road map,” to their approach.

4. Can your  therapist accept feedback and admit mistakes? A good therapist  is open to feedback and to learning that something he or she said hurt or offended you. Good therapists are willing to look at themselves and to honestly and openly admit mistakes.

5. Does the therapist  encourage dependence or independence? Therapy doesn’t solve your problems; it helps you to solve your own.  Therapy doesn’t soothe your overwhelming feelings; it helps you learn to soothe your own feelings.  If your therapist never encourages you to access your own resources, it is more likely you will become dependent on your therapist to help you feel better, rather than learning to depend on yourself.

6. Does the therapist have experience helping others with the particular issues for which you are seeking therapy? The more experience a therapist has addressing a particular issue, concern, or problem area, the more expertise they have developed.

9. Does the therapist make guarantees or promises? It’s important for a therapist to provide hope but not give  absolute unconditional guarantees.

10. Is the therapist  licensed? Licensure means  that a therapist has engaged in postgraduate counseling experience which, depending on the state of licensure, may include up to 3,000 hours of required supervised experience. It also means the therapist has passed a licensing exam. There are many unlicensed therapists who have years of experience and do excellent work, but licensed therapists  have (generally but not always) undergone more extensive supervision than unlicensed counselors. You can contact your state professional licensing board to verify the licensure of a provider.

11. Have any complaints been filed with the board? To see if a therapist has a record or is under investigation, you can check with your state licensing board for their profession.

Remember the most important thing is the relationship, if you feel comfortable and have a good rapport with your therapist then you know you’ve found the one for you.

Caribbean Immigrants and Therapy

Many Caribbean immigrants in particular first generation immigrants are very wary of going to see a mental health professional.  Problems are usually handled at home and many families have someone in their family who is mentally ill but has never gotten treatment and is often whispered about by others in the family and community.  Many immigrants are also very religious and feel that by going to church and praying  will make everything better.  Many Caribbean immigrants also believe that admitting to being depressed or anxious is a moral failing and won’t seek out help and will try to feel better on their own.   Many also wonder if a clinician who does not share their background will be able to understand their background and some beliefs such as “obeah” which is a form of voodoo practiced or believed in by some members of the Black Caribbean community.

Faith, Spirituality And Community

In the West Indian community, family, community and spiritual beliefs are often  great sources of strength and support.  Many West Indians  rely on faith, family and social communities for emotional support rather than turning to health care professionals.

While faith communities can be helpful at times they can be a source of distress and stigma if they are misinformed about mental health or do not know how to support families dealing with these conditions.

 

Reluctance And Inability To Access Mental Health Services

Less than 30% of West Indians  seek mental health care during their lives. Here are some reasons why:

• Distrust and misdiagnosis. Historically, African Americans and West Indians  have been and continue to be negatively affected by prejudice and discrimination in the health care system. Misdiagnoses, inadequate treatment and lack of cultural competence by health professionals often causes distrust and prevent many people  from seeking or staying in treatment.
• Lack of  West Indian mental health professionals.   Unfortunately there is a lack of mental health professionals who are from the West Indian or Caribbean community.  Many immigrants feel more comfortable and relate better to people who they perceive as being more familiar with their culture.

Provider Bias And Inequality Of Care

Conscious or unconscious bias from providers and lack of cultural competence result in misdiagnosis and poorer quality of care for African Americans and West Indians. .

West Indians, particularly women, are more likely to experience and mention physical symptoms related to mental health problems. For example,  describing  bodily aches and pains when talking about depression. A health care provider who is not culturally competent might not recognize these as symptoms of a mental health condition. Additionally, men are more likely to receive a misdiagnosis of schizophrenia when expressing symptoms related to mood disorders or PTSD.

Given this bias and the negative impact they have on your care, it is easy to understand why so many people  mistrust health professionals in general and avoid accessing care. While there may be reason to doubt whether professionals will mistreat you or not, don’t let this fear prevent you from seeking care..

Finding The Right Provider

For West Indian and Caribbean people it will be important to find someone whom they feel is culturally competent and understands them.  The therapist doesn’t have to be West Indian but should be someone who understands or is willing to learn the nuances of Caribbean culture.   When meeting with a  provider, ask questions to get a sense of their level of cultural sensitivity. Do not feel bad about asking questions. Providers should expect and welcome questions from their clients  since this helps them better understand you and what is important to you.  If a provider seems put off by being asked questions, they may not be the right provider.  Remember if you need help it’s ok to seek it and don’t feel ashamed about seeing a therapist.

 

 

The Story of Transforming Lives Counseling Service

 

I have been asked many times what made me decide to start my practice and in particular why my practice is centered around providing psychotherapy to women and adolescents of color in particular Black women and girls.   This post will tell you a little about me and what led me down this path.

I’ve been a therapist for 24 years and I’ve worked in various capacities and several agencies as well as at an inpatient psychiatric hospital.    During this time I’ve worked with many different populations and have also been a speaker at different organizations and written articles about therapy with Afro Caribbean families and women.

Working at agencies is very stressful and although I loved my clients I knew I couldn’t be there forever. I had always wanted a private practice but due to several circumstances I didn’t begin the process until 2016.   After my last position as a clinical supervisor at an outpatient substance  abuse clinic in New York City, I decided that it was time to start my practice.  I’ve always been passionate about helping women of color especially Black women who often feel ashamed to seek mental health treatment.   I started Transforming Lives Counseling Service in July 2016, first it was only online and then as I grew I decided to open an office in addition to seeing people online via video.  My practice has grown so much since this time and I’ve expanded and have a wonderful therapist, Jennifer Dorsey, MHC-LP working with me.

People have also asked if it’s discriminatory that my practice focuses on the mental health needs of women and girls of color in particular Black women and girls.  Psychotherapy is often viewed as a luxury for wealthy white people and I wanted to bring culturally competent care to Black women and girls who often don’t get to see people who look like them as therapists.   All my clients are not women and girls of color.  I will work with anyone who feels they need to begin therapy to learn how to live a fulfilling life however my primary goal and focus will always be helping Black women and girls.  If you want to learn more, take a look at my website, Transforming Lives Online.org  .

Be well

Racquel P. Jones, LCSW

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Misconceptions about People who go to Therapy

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“Talk to your family and friends, why are paying someone to talk to you”.  “Are you crazy or something?”  These are phrases people often say to others when they hear that you’re seeing a  therapist.   Many people won’t seek therapy because they don’t want to be labeled as “crazy”.   Therefore in order to shed light on the truth about seeing a therapist and raise awareness, I’ve  complied a list of things you shouldn’t assume about people who go to therapy.

1. They’re weak.

Going to therapy is a very courageous and strong thing to do.  You have  to be open to facing every corner of your mind and heart and be completely open about fears, truths and experiences in order to really get the most of what a therapist can offer. This requires strength.  You need strength  in order to explore your own emotional and mental limits and boundaries, strength to be guided in directions you wouldn’t go and strength to learn and actively seek a better place.

2. They’re crazy.

Whether someone  is suffering from a mental illness or seeking help for overwhelming feelings/thoughts, “crazy” is never an appropriate term.

 

3.  Therapy is for rich people.

Therapy can be expensive, but there are different ways to pay for therapy.  Many therapists accept insurance and some have sliding fee scales.  Also Open Path Collective can connect you to therapists who charge between $30-$50 per session.

4. They have no friends.

Therapy is not a replacement for friendship, and a therapist is not a friend. Friendships are two-way streets, which can cause a very biased view of experiences and circumstances; therapy is a one-sided relationship with a professional who has the skills to guide and help you through your struggles and needs.  Most of my clients have many friends who love and care for them.

 

5.  They’re in a bad “place.”

Someone  does not need to be in a “bad” or “dangerous” place to see a therapist.  There’s usually a catalyst for deciding to go, but it could be a culmination of experiences or feelings, not necessarily that something bad recently happened to you.

6. There’s a set time frame for being in therapy.

Some people go to therapy for years while some only go for a few months to work on a specific issue.  The client and therapist will decide together an appropriate plan for treatment.

7.  They’re  on medication.

It’s common for people to believe that if you’re in therapy, you must be on medication.  While some people who are in therapy are also taking medication, many are not taking any medication.  Most of my clients in my practice do not take medication.

8. Their  therapist tells them what to do and what to think.

A therapist is there to help you  uncover your strengths, work through your struggles and help  you to lead a healthier, happier life not tell you  what to do.

 

It’s my hope that these common misconceptions will change and people will feel less ashamed about going to therapy.  Remember there is nothing wrong with reaching out for help.

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Black Women and Therapy- Why Race Matters

“What would a White doctor know about my problems?” “They’ll call me crazy and lock me up!” “The pastor has been helping me,” and “Where would I even find a good Black counselor?”   Although the Black community shares the same concerns and mental health issues as others  and with  even greater stressors due to discrimination and economic inequities,   many shy away from psychotherapy.    This is due to many factors such as feeling unable to find a therapist they feel can truly help them,  being distrustful of White people, the belief that seeking help makes you weak and also the idea that therapy is for “crazy” people.

 

Cultural Mistrust

African Americans have a greater distrust of the medical establishment in general, and many feel that  medical institutions hold racist attitudes. This goes  back to historical abuses of slaves by White doctors for medical experimentation; Blacks could neither consent or refuse to participate because of their low social status and were often victimized, even to the point of being used as examples of surgical techniques for medical students.

Cultural mistrust is partially responsible for  the under use of  mental health  services, leaving many without needed care. Black people may fear mistreatment, being hospitalized involuntarily, or being used as research “guinea pigs.” Black people who regularly encounter prejudice often  develop “healthy paranoia” — a cultural response style based on experiences of racism and oppression in White society.  Worries  about being judged or wrongly  diagnosed may lead many African Americans to exercise caution or avoidance of mental health care. This reaction has lead some clinicians to over diagnose paranoia in  Black clients, which then leads to greater mistrust on the part of the client.

Therapist Factors

White therapists often don’t understand why Black clients  are cautious.  Unfortunately ethnic and racial stereotypes often affect therapeutic relationship.  The therapist’s reaction to the client  can be complicated by unacknowledged prejudice, stereotypes, and feelings of guilt.  An honest discussion of ethnic and racial factors in the therapeutic relationship can increase trust and mutual understanding.  However, many therapists are unsure how to approach racial differences, and may prefer a “colorblind” approach.

Colorblindness Is Not the Answer

A colorblind approach only relieves the therapist of his or her obligation to address racial differences and difficulties.  Being  colorblind allows the denial of uncomfortable racial and cultural differences.    Being colorblind  ignores the experience of being stigmatized by society and represents a failure on the part of the therapist.

 

The Black Client and White Therapist

In my work as a therapist working primarily with Black clients, I have had many clients tell me about difficulties they’ve had with White therapists.  Many clients felt there were subjects they couldn’t discuss with their therapist because they felt the therapist couldn’t possibly understand due to cultural and racial differences.  I have also had clients say that they have discussed racism they’ve experienced and felt that their therapist felt that they were making a “big deal” out of something.  These situations led to clients being distrustful of their therapists.

 

 

Choosing a Therapist

It’s important when choosing a therapist to choose someone who you feel understands you and will be empathetic and non judgmental towards you.  Sometimes it takes going to different therapists to find the right one for you.  Finding a culturally competent therapist can be especially difficult but not impossible.  Remember  no matter what race or ethnic background your therapist is, the most important thing is that you feel heard, understood and safe to express yourself in therapy.

 

Some Good Reasons to go to Therapy

 

There are many misconceptions  about what it means to talk to a  psychotherapist. The need to talk about your emotions is sometimes seen as something to poke fun at, weak or shameful. That stigma is often why people often don’t seek help.

However, therapy is  incredibly useful  and  helps with a range of issues, from anxiety to depression to relationships to trauma.   Experts and research show that therapy is very helpful for most people.

 Here are a few reasons why you should give therapy a try:

 

1. You’re experiencing unexpected mood swings.

If you’re noticing you’ve taken on a more negative mood or thought process ― and it’s persistent ― it might be worth talking to someone. A therapist can help you get to the root of the problem

 

2. You’re undergoing a big change.

This could be a new career, a new family or moving to a different city. New ventures are challenging and it’s normal to need assistance with getting used to changes in your life.

 

3. You’re withdrawing from things that used to make you happy.

A loss of motivation often signals that something is up. If you’re normally a social butterfly and you’re suddenly pulling away from your weekly activities,  you could be experiencing something deeper. A therapist can help you to uncover why this might occurring.

 

4. You’re using a substance to cope with issues in your life.

If you find yourself turning to drugs or alcohol as a way to deal with what’s going on in your life, it might be time to reach out. Addiction and substance abuse are not character flaws.

5. You suspect you might have a serious mental health condition.

Serious mental illness affects almost 10 million Americans in a year. If you’ve been feeling off for a long time, reach out. Psychiatric conditions like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia rarely develop out of nowhere and people display signs for a while.

 

6. Your relationships feel strained.

Relationships, no matter what kind  are hard work. You’re not expected to have all the answers. If you’re with a partner, therapy can help the two of you explore better ways to communicate and any other issues that have come up.

7. You just feel like you need to talk to someone.

Bottom line: There’s nothing wrong with seeking treatment for any health issue, including mental health.   You go to the dentist for a toothache so you can go to a therapist too for  help with your mental health.